Reading with Scissors

December 14, 2011

Efficient Holiday Decorating

Two actual homes in Urbana, Ill. Thanks to Nancy Bollero for the photo.

February 14, 2011

Nothing says Happy Valentine’s Day like personal lubricant

Filed under: Health & Beauty Aids, holiday specials — Tags: , , , , , — readingwithscissors @ 9:15 am

Hallmark can’t touch this.

December 21, 2010

Airstream Santa

Filed under: holiday specials — Tags: , , — readingwithscissors @ 10:46 am

December 23, 2009

As Botticelli turns in his grave…

Elegant and understated: The perfect $39,900 gift for your slave. (From Collection, The Buyer’s Guide from the Publishers of Robb Report)

December 22, 2009

A Taser family Christmas

“Dad, I want the metallic pink one to match my iPod!”

December 21, 2009

This Holiday Season, avoid gift-wrapping tragedy

Combine with this for an OSHA-approved Christmas.

December 15, 2009

This Christmas, give a horse with a mullet.

So weird, the bad quotation marks almost get lost. (From Collection, The Buyer’s Guide from the Publishers of Robb Report)

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February 1, 2009

Biker Christmas tree…in March

This ad appeared in the March, 2009 issue of Rider Magazine, and just arrived on newsstands. This raises questions:

1. Are bikers slow on the draw for the holidays, or the ultimate earlybirds?

2. Do bikers share a weird ceramic Christmas tree jones with Boston Terrier lovers and Cub fans?

3. If a biker could only have one, would it be this tree or this snowman?

Also–note to The Bradford Editions: Enough with the “It Lights Up!” stuff.

bikerchristmastree

December 29, 2008

Injectable butter

The perfect match for the turkey hypodermic needle. Inject Tony Cachere into turkey according to instructions. 

injectablebutter1

Turkey hypodermic needle

Nothing says holiday family get-together like a turkey shoot. Except for maybe this. Wondering what to inject? Got that covered.

turkeyhypo

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