Paper slippers at airport security. Just another reason to hate Osama Bin Laden.
July 21, 2009
May 10, 2009
How to live 200 years
Yeah, the herbs probably helped, but the post-it nails it. Woulda’ been nice if he’d used a condom or two along the way.
April 25, 2009
Mr. Twinkie’s House
Mr. Dewar could never have known, living in his Oak Park bungalow, the significance of his invention. If only Mr. Twinkie had married Mrs. Slinky, she could have hyphenated her name to Slinky-Twinkie.
January 29, 2009
January 14, 2009
The passing of the Slinky mogul
We lost a lot of giants in 2008. Paul Newman played with race cars but thanks to Ms. James, the rest of us had the Slinky. Toy magnates lead the most interesting lives.
January 2, 2009
The right to bear bear spray
Manitoba considers “bear-spray control,” because bear spray is being used in robberies and other crimes. But here in the United States, we know that bear spray doesn’t rob people, people rob people. To ward off attacks on our freedoms that creep down from up north, the NRA quickly mobilizes to form a splinter advocacy group: The NBA (National Bearspray Association).
October 12, 2007
Law & Order: Designer Label Unit
Conspicuous consumption meets covetous car-burglar. At least the thief didn’t take the Hummer. (From the Barrington, Ill., Courier-Review Police Blotter, Aug. 25, 2005)
