As Botticelli turns in his grave…

Elegant and understated: The perfect $39,900 gift for your slave. (From Collection, The Buyer’s Guide from the Publishers of Robb Report)

A Taser family Christmas

“Dad, I want the metallic pink one to match my iPod!”

This Holiday Season, avoid gift-wrapping tragedy

Combine with this for an OSHA-approved Christmas.

Horse with a mullet

So weird, the bad quotation marks almost get lost. (From Collection, The Buyer’s Guide from the Publishers of Robb Report)

Biker Christmas tree…in March

This ad appeared in the March, 2009 issue of Rider Magazine, and just arrived on newsstands. This raises questions:

1. Are bikers slow on the draw for the holidays, or the ultimate earlybirds?

2. Do bikers share a weird ceramic Christmas tree jones with Boston Terrier lovers and Cub fans?

3. If a biker could only have one, would it be this tree or this snowman?

Also–note to The Bradford Editions: Enough with the “It Lights Up!” stuff.

Injectable butter

The perfect match for the turkey hypodermic needle. Inject Tony Cachere into turkey according to instructions. 

Turkey hypodermic needle

Nothing says holiday family get-together like a turkey shoot. Except for maybe this. Wondering what to inject? Got that covered.

Bikers meet Thomas Kinkade and it ain’t pretty

RWS is going on a short holiday hiatus. Here’s a favorite from last year. Back next week. Until then, stay safe. And keep your scissors handy.

1. Three 3-D villages inside snowman’s belly: Check
2. Vehicles that run around the snowman: Check
3. It lights up: Check
4. Won’t burn down your house: Check

Hey wait a minute, something smells and it ain’t burnin’ rubber! The Kinkade mashup snowman seems a lot less special right now.

Potentially green Christmas wrapping paper

Whoa! The label on this roll of wrapping paper says the paper is RECYCLABLE! What is it, made of switchgrass or bamboo or something? Way cool. 

Marilyn Monroe Christmas Ornaments

Never forget what Christmas is about: Glitzy, glamorous, resin figures on polymer ornaments. And “The Seven Year Itch.” And “Some Like It Hot.” And after you hang Marilyn from your tree, put Animatronic Elvis under it.