A limited-time offer.
January 29, 2009
January 26, 2009
Toe Gitmo
Socks? So over them. Stocks are in. It’s like enhanced interrogation for the feet. And the little piggies feel so good when they get out.
January 22, 2009
Obama signed, sealed, delivered–on a plate
Mark this momentous occasion in our nation’s history with a cheesy piece of crap. Despite our greatest hopes, some things will never change.
January 16, 2009
As if Blagojevich weren’t enough
As Patrick Fitzgerald put it, “Lincoln would turn over in his grave.“ Or go water skiing. Or skydiving. Or ride a Harley.
January 14, 2009
The passing of the Slinky mogul
We lost a lot of giants in 2008. Paul Newman played with race cars but thanks to Ms. James, the rest of us had the Slinky. Toy magnates lead the most interesting lives.
January 11, 2009
January 5, 2009
What part of “senior discount” don’t you get?
Perfect for seniors who:
- aren’t sensitive about revealing their age
- want to take no chances when it comes to discounts
- don’t mind not getting a senior discount on their senior discount cap
Coming soon: “Kick me, I’m old” T-shirt.
Special thanks to an anonymous Reading with Scissors fan for contributing this.
January 2, 2009
The right to bear bear spray
Manitoba considers “bear-spray control,” because bear spray is being used in robberies and other crimes. But here in the United States, we know that bear spray doesn’t rob people, people rob people. To ward off attacks on our freedoms that creep down from up north, the NRA quickly mobilizes to form a splinter advocacy group: The NBA (National Bearspray Association).
