Injectable butter

The perfect match for the turkey hypodermic needle. Inject Tony Cachere into turkey according to instructions. 

Turkey hypodermic needle

New meaning to the term “turkey shoot.” Nothing says holiday family get-together like shooting up a turkey. Wondering what to inject? Got that covered.

Bikers meet Thomas Kinkade and it ain’t pretty

1. Three 3-D villages inside snowman’s belly: Check
2. Vehicles that run around the snowman: Check
3. It lights up: Check
4. Won’t burn down your house: Check

Hey wait a minute, something smells and it ain’t burnin’ rubber! The Kinkade mashup snowman seems a lot less special right now.

Potentially green Christmas wrapping paper

Whoa! The label on this roll of wrapping paper says the paper is RECYCLABLE! What is it, made of switchgrass or bamboo or something? Way cool. 

Marilyn Monroe Christmas Ornaments

Never forget what Christmas is about: Glitzy, glamorous, resin figures on polymer ornaments. And “The Seven Year Itch.” And “Some Like It Hot.” And after you hang Marilyn from your tree, put Animatronic Elvis under it.

Flameless candle

From the same people who brought us plastic glasses? Battery operated, adjustable fragrance, and it has its own Web site.

Christmas countdown lawn ornament

Because it’s so hard to keep track of just when Christmas is. Can also be used indoors. 

Cubs Sleigh ride to Hell

As with every annual Cubs ornament, lump of coal free with purchase. You’ll enter this season in the “win” column. You’ll finish “elsewhere.”