Boston Terrier Christmas tree

Two dozen Boston Terriers + hot dog garland + 60 lights + 13-1/2″ of porcelain = one really artificial tree
Don’t like Boston Terriers? No problem. Don’t like dogs? Try this.

Nothing says school spirit like a remote control

 Except maybe a heat pump.
(Ad in Illinois Alumni Magazine.)

Lost in translation

(Actual tea bag. Please read directions.)

Bathroom yoga

 Flush and say Om.
(Coupon in Sunday newspaper)

Nothing says school spirit like a heat pump

Except maybe a remote control.
(Sunday newspaper insert)

Because your baseball caps deserve the very best

 Not only is the “cap closet” portable, it’s also a “clear, see-thru” design.
(Sunday newspaper insert)

It’s like a Lava Lamp for your nose

Put down that cell phone. Put on some Iron Butterfly. Kick back. Inhale.
(From a Sunday newspaper insert.)

Trix-flavored Yogurt

Yogurt-flavored Trix can’t be far behind. We live in a marvelous age. (Actual lid from actual Trix-flavored Yoplait container.) 

Fish and (Potato) Chips

Until work is complete on the genetically modified fish that grows potato chips instead of scales, this will have to do. (Sunday newspaper insert.)